It is difficult to describe the words.
They are lying there and you step on them.
Lying there in the gutter - eyes wide shut.
Words can hardly survive when they're not dealt with.
How quiet words can be, tiptoeings out of your mouth.
Oh so silenty they leave, never going back.
Words are pressing out of your eye-sockets.
Sitting, smirking, sneering on your cheekbones.
Wet, clumsy and inept they drip down your chin.
Thud. Blub. Clung. Falling down, not standing up.
Capitulating, spreading around your feet.
I like the images in this peom a lot. Though I think you could deal with some words...
AntwortenLöschenthe repitition of "lying" doesn't seem to fulfil a purpose (to me)... you could leave one out or fill it with another image, similar but not same to lying.
"tiptoeings out of your mouth" is wonderful - but is the "s" at tiptoeing correct? Doesn't seem to make sense to me.
guess there's an l missing in silenty?
not sure about the "pressing", too. Is it "pushing" what you mean?