Stars are white, not yellow
I hate yellow
You are yellow
Therefore, I hate you
For making me
Feel like
Glowing orange
When actually
I’m icy blue
with white stripes.
Take your yellow hands
Off my sapphire soul
And let me walk
The navy ground
Of my pacific home
Alone.
I think I can relate to this poem a lot. I love the way you use colours here to reflect your feelings. It works well! I like the way you use the colour blue only once but then just refer to images of blue: sapphire, pacific.
AntwortenLöschenYou could consider working with the lines "for making me - feel like" and "and let me walk". I suggest for: "and let me walk" to cut out the "and". Then the whole stanza sounds stronger (to me).
As for: "for making me - feel like" you could either combine the two lines or change it into "for feeling (like)".